Become the Conqueror of Your Own Life

empire_0The last few weeks have been a time of great transition in my own life and the lives of many of my clients.

In the last week alone, I had a long-time working relationship unexpectedly come to an end, my family began preparing to move, my daughter turned three, and my family faced a number of personal challenges at home.

There are times when everything seems up in the air, in crisis, and demanding of our attention, and this is one of them.

My process for dealing with this past week has involved some tears, a fair amount of wine, and a bit of zoning out in front of the TV– including and especially the new TV show Empire– before beginning to ground myself in the tenets by which I live my life.

But before I get to those, a little interlude on Empire.

In a recent episode, one of the sons who is an heir to the show’s music dynasty came out of the closet, after a huge amount of conflict with his father.

As a way of recovering and honoring that moment, he then recorded a beautiful duet with another artist about what it takes to overcome adversity and rise.

It was a powerful moment that left me in tears the first time I saw it, and the song that has been on replay non-stop on my iPhone ever since.

The title of that song? Conqueror.

And as you’ll note below, I’m embedding the clip of that moment in today’s post as a powerful testament to what it takes to rise in the face of failure, and continue onward in the face of change.

Through my own recent transitions, the song has inspired me to ask of myself and of others in recent days:

What does it mean to be the Conqueror of your own life?

Here’s what it means to me.


How to Escape a Failure Spiral

shutterstock_177003773We all have days where bad shizz goes down, where negative thought patterns get the best of us, where we can become convinced that no matter what we do, nothing good can come of what’s coming next.

I had one of those days this week. Yes, it’s true, even those of us in the personal development space are not immune.

I also get clients coming in the door to my coaching practice all the time who have been in that place for weeks or months– and sometimes, sadly, years.

I see so much of this that I’ve coined a term to refer to the pattern. I call it the dreaded “failure spiral.”

And I’ve got a few strong practices for dealing with a failure spiral that work very quickly if applied well.

If you find yourself in a place where you think you’re a failure, where nothing good is coming to you, and where nothing is ever going to change, here’s the exit route.

Read on.


Out with the Old — In with the New

shutterstock_218846422As we round the corner toward the end of the year, I always get requests from clients as to whether I’ve got any exercises I recommend, or rituals I like, to mark what’s gone well in the past year and what’s been, shall we say, challenging. It’s a great question, because there’s no doubt that this is the perfect time of year for contemplating how to build on our successes in the new year, while resolving and clearing out what’s no longer working.

Here’s an exercise I suggest to clients that helps to set the stage for a great upcoming year, while also acknowledging your victories over the past twelve months.


Take Care of Yourself (plus free goodies!)

GiftYourself_LogoAt the holiday season more than any other, I often find myself overwhelmed and exhausted. Here in New York, the month of December can often feel like one long slog of holiday parties, work events, school functions and traffic.

And like just about any other working woman, the thing I sacrifice the most at this time of year is myself.

It’s of critical importance, however, that we engage in self-care at this time of year, because as my friend Elena Lipson often reminds me, if we don’t show up for ourselves, it’s really, really hard to be at our best for everyone else.

That’s why this week, I’m offering you some FREE resources on how to engage in self-care this holiday season.