Ivanka Trump, Perez Hilton and Me– Or, Why Basic Networking is Not Enough

IMG_3751Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know how adamant I am about the importance of networking.

I’ve written quite a bit before about my Spiderweb Approach to networking, how I teach it to my clients, and how you can apply it to your work and life.

Basic networking, however, is only part of the story of your success.

Why? Because it’s what you do once you’re connected to folks who take an interest in your success that matters most.

Which brings me to the story of how I ended up PMing with Perez Hilton on Twitter about technology management, my speaking engagement tonight at the 92nd Street Y, and being bicoastal with a family.

But first, a little backstory.

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Become the Conqueror of Your Own Life

empire_0The last few weeks have been a time of great transition in my own life and the lives of many of my clients.

In the last week alone, I had a long-time working relationship unexpectedly come to an end, my family began preparing to move, my daughter turned three, and my family faced a number of personal challenges at home.

There are times when everything seems up in the air, in crisis, and demanding of our attention, and this is one of them.

My process for dealing with this past week has involved some tears, a fair amount of wine, and a bit of zoning out in front of the TV– including and especially the new TV show Empire– before beginning to ground myself in the tenets by which I live my life.

But before I get to those, a little interlude on Empire.

In a recent episode, one of the sons who is an heir to the show’s music dynasty came out of the closet, after a huge amount of conflict with his father.

As a way of recovering and honoring that moment, he then recorded a beautiful duet with another artist about what it takes to overcome adversity and rise.

It was a powerful moment that left me in tears the first time I saw it, and the song that has been on replay non-stop on my iPhone ever since.

The title of that song? Conqueror.

And as you’ll note below, I’m embedding the clip of that moment in today’s post as a powerful testament to what it takes to rise in the face of failure, and continue onward in the face of change.

Through my own recent transitions, the song has inspired me to ask of myself and of others in recent days:

What does it mean to be the Conqueror of your own life?

Here’s what it means to me.

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How to Escape a Failure Spiral

shutterstock_177003773We all have days where bad shizz goes down, where negative thought patterns get the best of us, where we can become convinced that no matter what we do, nothing good can come of what’s coming next.

I had one of those days this week. Yes, it’s true, even those of us in the personal development space are not immune.

I also get clients coming in the door to my coaching practice all the time who have been in that place for weeks or months– and sometimes, sadly, years.

I see so much of this that I’ve coined a term to refer to the pattern. I call it the dreaded “failure spiral.”

And I’ve got a few strong practices for dealing with a failure spiral that work very quickly if applied well.

If you find yourself in a place where you think you’re a failure, where nothing good is coming to you, and where nothing is ever going to change, here’s the exit route.

Read on.

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Engage

shutterstock_122872186I’ll be honest, it hasn’t been the easiest week in these parts.

Between a ton of work on upcoming projects, some interpersonal challenges, and then the passing yesterday of someone who I didn’t know all that well, but who left a major mark on all those he came into contact with, it’s been a week of feeling A LOT.

These weeks/days/months will happen.

As I sit here writing this, I’m thinking of all the other folks in the professional circles in which I operate who would write here that it’s best to disengage, detach, get happy, remember the positive, and make it all love and light when things get tough.

In case you hadn’t noticed, that’s not really my style.

I’m a big believer– even more so after this week– that those things which are not discussed, which remain hidden or off the table, have a tendency to fester and emerge in other, negative ways.

In other words, my mantra this week has become No Way Out But Through.

Now, I could give you one of my handy lists here on how to get through and process difficult times. I’m not feeling called to do that today, though, and so I think I’ll opt this week to just say this.

Engagement with all you feel will serve you well.

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