Last week, I was struggling with some really hard stuff.
I’ll be candid: I tend toward “struggle” a lot.
I’m one of those people who was raised with the limiting belief that if life wasn’t a struggle– if I didn’t work my ass off, bleed for success and lay it all on the line– I’d amount to nothing.
Maybe this sounds a little familiar to you? LOL.
Many of you probably recognize struggle as a cultural phenomenon–so much so that the “culture of struggle” now dominates every facet of our daily lives.
I can’t tell you how often I hear clients, friends and colleagues practically competing over who’s struggling more than who– and it only seems to get worse with each passing year.
(Example: I happened to catch a snippet of that 1987 movie, Wall Street, a couple of weeks ago. I literally laughed out loud when Charlie Sheen’s girlfriend complained in one bedroom scene that he was working 60 hour weeks and she never got to see him. 60 hour weeks? That sounds practically luxurious by today’s “culture of struggle” standards.)
And I’m not immune. I’ve been immersed in the “culture of struggle” non-stop for the last few months, and it’s exhausting.
Last week, I was so depleted that I reached out to my fellow coach, Hillary Rubin, to ask for some advice on how to cope.
I got on the phone with Hillary as she was walking her dog for what I thought would just be a friendly chat.
And I started complaining right out of the box about how hard it all was, where it was going wrong, and all my efforts to “figure it out.”
What happened next was something akin to falling down the rabbit hole.
Because in the space of about ten minutes, Hillary asked me the most provocative question I’ve ever been asked in my life. (more…)
However, since early 2012, we’ve been in high intensity kid mode.
I gave birth to a daughter in March 2012, and a son in July 2013.
Since our son’s birth, until just four days ago, when we moved into a three bedroom apartment, our son slept in our bedroom, about two feet from our bed.
I should probably mention that my husband and I are both passionate people.
We’re both uber-verbal and wicked smart.
We’re also highly, highly sensitive beings, to a degree we don’t often witness in other couples.
And we are both crazy (and I mean CRAZY) triggered by not feeling seen or understood on a daily basis.
Combine that with not sleeping for months due to the coolest, non-sleeping kids on the planet, heavy duty work pressures (like the launch of my first online course) and Type-A righteous commitment to our respective endeavors, and you’ve got a bit of a molotov cocktail.
You see, it turns out that despite the fact that we are soul mates, when subject to this particular perfect storm of circumstances, my husband and I are also wicked good at tearing eachother to shreds.
Lately I’ve been working with a slew of female executives who are primary breadwinners for their families. The changing roles we’re seeing in our culture are spawning some great conversations about gender roles, management styles and “leaning in,” among other topics. As the primary breadwinner in my household, these topics are quite familiar to me personally as well as professionally.
However, a more subtle shift is also coming up in my conversations with clients and friends alike, in the form of a disconnect that many of us feel in our relationships as our earning power grows. One client has likened this to her relationship becoming “transactional” over time– meaning that our conversations and time with our partners become more about who’s doing what for the household, and less about intimacy and true connection.
So, this week I’m inspired to support success both at work and at home! In this week’s video, I’m giving you three easy ways to reconnect with your partner and recharge your relationship. These tips don’t take a lot of time, but they have a dramatic impact on our relationships with those who matter most. Check out this week’s video to learn more.
This week, in honor of the birth of my son, I am going old school and writing a blog instead of sending out a video. I’ve learned some critically important lessons over the past few days about how to bring into being what we want in life– so much so that I wanted to share them with you right away.
The story starts here: this past Monday, Ronan Bishop McLaughlin arrived one week late, weighing 9 pounds 2 ounces and 21 inches long. He is a big boy, so very sweet, and very very hungry.
His birth, however, was far from what I said I wanted this time around.
You see, sixteen months ago, my daughter arrived into the world by Caesarean birth. She had been breech, and while her birth was spectacular and spiritual and everything I could have asked for in that manifestation, this time around I was determined to have a natural birth. So hell-bent was I on this outcome that I planned to birth naturally no matter what, no matter how long I had to wait, entirely drug and intervention free. (more…)